Classic Rock Songs that just fuckin' suck

[Mickey Massuco]

So is “Heaven”. And that song with Tina Turner.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

...you guys trying to say B-Ad is ass? Smfh

‘90s Bryan Adams is ass. ‘80s Bryan Adams is a pretty good poppier Springsteen knockoff.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Yo, I will not tolerate belittling Bryan Adams. Summer of '69 and Heaven are classics.

The song he wrote for Robin Hood was ass, though.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Local radio station played the shit out of this song when it came out. When me and my older brother shared a room, he would set his alarm clock to said station and they would play this every morning. This song haunted me every morning before elementary school.

 

[Mickey Massuco]

Smfh that Robin Hood song is good.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

It was great when GOB sang it on Arrested Development but man is it a hunk of Gouda and not the type of thing Def Leppard should be trying to make which was original point I was trying to make IRT Adrenalize.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://www.facebook.com/EverythingGlamMetal/photos/a.295414797647397/1039642399891296

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

On this Super Bowl Sunday, let's remember that period in the mid-late '00s when the moral majority freaked the fuck out over Janet Jackson's nipple ring so we got a bunch of increasingly lame boomer centric Halftime Shows (most of which were actually decent but nothing to write home about. Prince was major exception), culminating with old ass The Who doing a halftime show no one asked for (sorry @The Valeyard ).

Then everybody was like "Enough of this boomer shit or we're gonna end up with an REO Speedwagon halftime show at this rate." then they did a Black Eyed Peas Halftime Show (ft Slash), which everyone hated even worse.

Although now I'm afraid we're never gonna get another classic rock band to do a halftime show. Give us a Guns N Roses Halftime Show, Goodell, you coward!

 

[Brocklock]

The Boomer Super Bowl Halftime show era gave us this at least

Why wasn't the Boss' crotch demonized as much as the Janet nipple.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band was really good but them only doing a 12 minute set seems like real anachronistic.

 

[Valeyard]

You really are passive aggressive these days.

The Who were the worst show post-titty, though.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Did Van Halen Have a Fourth Singer? Mitch Malloy Tells His Story

After Sammy Hagar and before Gary Cherone, Van Halen had Mitch Malloy (briefly)

www.rollingstone.com

Rolling Stone interviewed Mitch Malloy, the guy who briefly sang for Van Halen in 1995 between Sammy Hagar's 1st stint and DLR's super short 2nd stint ("Me Wise Magic" FTW) cause I guess they are at the intense boredom stage of the pandemic now too.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1363140999241998344

 

[Valeyard]

That song is way better if you think of it as the story of a truck stop hooker. Matches up really, really well.

 

[Mickey Massuco]

Fucking haters

 

[HarleyQuinn]

This song was all the rage in 1999... very incelly in re-listening to it now. The song itself is just so there from the singing to the musicality. It basically hangs on the chorus hook (which helps). You're A God blows this one away in nearly every facet except maybe the chorus hook.

 

[Fall of Epic]

That song is awesome, HQ. You hater!

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Vertical Horizon makes Matchbox 20 look like Black Flag. Maybe the most boring band I have ever seen live.

 

[AA484]

Since when is Vertical Horizon classic rock

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

It is absolutely not. Adult contemporary af. @HarleyQuinn is banned from visiting the NEW ENGLAND MAN HALL OF FAME for 3 days for this digression!

 

[HarleyQuinn]

It is absolutely not. Adult contemporary af. @HarleyQuinn is banned from visiting the NEW ENGLAND MAN HALL OF FAME for 3 days for this digression!

I'll have you know that Vertical's You're A God is definitely closer to the Bon Jovi rock leanings of this type of "Classic Rock" thread to be fair even if that isn't considered a "Classic" rock song.

Speaking of Bon Jovi... I need the @King Kamala hot take if It's My Life is legitimately good or not. Dig the guitar work and shout-a-long chorus but that vocal 'Whoa Whoa' noise is very annoying and overused throughout the song. It's super strong for the first minute & 1/2 of the song (the opening 2 lines are legit some of my favorite opening lyrics to a song) but it doesn't feel like it does anything else during the rest of the song to take it beyond that. I don't know if I can decide if the strong opening means it's a great song or if it's just a blah song when taken as a whole.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I think "It's My Life" is pretty good attempt to update Bon Jovi's sound to the year 2000 but there are aspects of production that make it sound TOO year 2000-y.

Interesting you bring them up, @HarleyQuinn , cause I meant to pose a question ITT earlier in this week; has Bon Jovi replaced The Doors as the most frequently mentioned band when it comes to "Classic rock that fuckin' sucks?" I feel like mentioning Bon Jovi brings up a visceral disgust amongst music fans that used to happen when the Doors were brought up 20 years ago.

 

[AA484]

WTF, the Doors are all-time greats. Who thinks they suck (besides Laz, probably)?

 

[Fall of Epic]

I can let the VH hate slide but disrespecting "It's My Life" AND the Doors? It's like I don't know who you guys are anymore.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

WTF, the Doors are all-time greats. Who thinks they suck (besides Laz, probably)?

A lot of Xers and elder millennials hate them but I think it’s more based on Oliver Stone’s The Doors and Ray Manzarek showing up on fucking every classic rock retrospective from the ‘90s & ‘00s and annoyingly waxing rhapsodic about Jim Morrison’s genius.

since Ray Manzarek died in 2013 and the much more soft spoken (and it seems much more in tune with Morrison philosophically) John Densmore replaced him as guy who is interviewed about the Doors, I think people appreciate them as the great rock band that they were.

Jim Morrison was an absolute fucking knob though IRL and would probably be a MAGA guy if he were around today.

 

[Valeyard]

First Doors album is badass. A lot of the super pretentious Morrison shine seems to have gone away, though.

"It's My Life" got used in the "death" montage for my high school's Every 15 Minutes project (elaborate and fucked up drunk driving awareness thing, if anyone didn't have it). I can't hear it without it ending with screeching tires and this girl I had English with going through a windshield.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Even the Doors "sellout" stuff (The Soft Parade) I like. It's hilarious with the Morrison masterbatory shine and brass section.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Also the stupid in fighting amongst surviving members and the weird Doors of the 21st Century revival (with Ian Astbury and Stewart Copeland replacing Morrison and John Densmore plus an actual bass player for some reason?) also hurt their reputation. I feel like Ian Astbury leading a Doors revival might have been cool in 1992 but in 2002, it was like "WTH is this garbage?"

Can't forget the VH1 Storytellers from 2000 with the surviving members backing up Astbury, Scott Weiland, the guy from Train, and GD SCOTT STAPP!

I don't begrudge Manzarek and Krieger for trying to make a living and keep the memory of their old friend alive but man oh man, they went about it the wrong way for a while.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Absolute highlight/lowlight of this era was Robby Krieger jamming with Creed at Woodstock '99 while wearing an Undertaker shirt.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/577921283167535104

 

[Fall of Epic]

People tend to forget that Doors also had two records following Morrison's death with Ray and Robbie on vocals. This actually came out a year after the incident: