The Meltzer Thread

[AA484]

These were the highest vote getters among wrestling promotions for the years where MMA promotions won:

2001: WWF
2002: ROH
2003: NOAH
2006: ROH
2007: ROH
2008: WWE
2009: Dragon Gate
2010: Dragon Gate
2011: NJPW

So in an ideal world where MMA promotions are excluded, it would technically "only" be a 15-year drought for WWE.

 

[BruiserBrody]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1765047559955882345

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

...but Meltz is right...because the last time American pro wrestling looked "real" was before Toots Mondt.

 

[cobainwasmurdered]

Dave has also always openly made fun of wrestling he didn't like. So has Cornette.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

Any time Corny gripes about how modern wrestling is phoney and the Midnights were realistic I'm reminded of the silly-as-fuck spot where Eaton would run the ropes, get kicked in the ass, and then dive to the outside.

 

[Valeyard]

So many of the same issues have existed since at least the advent of television that I really don't think about it, unless it's aggressively in the way.

It's just impossible ever to take Cornette seriously when talking about anything after the Clinton Administration.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

I wouldn't go that far, because a lot of his critiques have a good chunk of truth to them...or at least had until AEW started taking off. I'm clearly no fan of Omega or the Bucks, but the majority of the issues he holds with them, and guys like them, also apply to modern favorites of his (especially Rollins), and just about every major star of the dying days of the territories except for maybe Stan Hansen and Terry Funk.

 

[Valeyard]

He overplays his hand when talking about things, really. Loses his good points because he can't shut up. Every year that goes by shows him less in touch and it's just everyone else's fault. It's getting worse all the time.

You just can't overthink this shit too much. Wrestling is stupid a lot of the time, and it's so fucking beautiful to love it because it's also magical. If you're in on the joke, there is nothing like it. If you dissect things or try hard to complain, there's no fun in it, and you just look like an asshole.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

You just can't overthink this shit too much. Wrestling is stupid a lot of the time, and it's so fucking beautiful to love it because it's also magical. If you're in on the joke, there is nothing like it. If you dissect things or try hard to complain, there's no fun in it, and you just look like an asshole.

Vale deconstructs the arc of the average IWC member

 

[alkeiper]

Wwe is going to draw 50000+ people on back to back nights next month. I have a hundred criticisms of wrestling psychology but it clearly works.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/s/nY1KCGMxZJ

 

[Valeyard]

I just watched a clip of someone mixing up Aaron Hernandez and Aaron Bushnell. Meltz gets a pass.

 

[Brocklock]

Lol Meltzer gives Sting's final match **** 3/4 instead of going for the full five. Sticking it to The Stinger one last time.

 

[Valeyard]

What did he give Flair/Shawn?

 

[Brocklock]

Wow, he only gave Flair/Shawn *** 1/2? WTF He gave that terrible clusterfuck horseshit match with all the Meat, Jericho, the Lucha jabroni, and Dante Martin a *** 1/4.

 

[Hawk 34]

Wow, he only gave Flair/Shawn *** 1/2? WTF He gave that terrible clusterfuck horseshit match with all the Meat, Jericho, the Lucha jabroni, and Dante Martin a *** 1/4.

If he gave it any less, his stooge might stop feeding him.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Fairly certain Useless Moron Scott Keith only gave Flair Vs HBK only ***. Pro wrestling reviewers aren’t exactly empaths.

 

[Valeyard]

Scooter is a nimrod.

 

[Brocklock]

I mean technically it isn't a great match, but there's so much more to wrestling than executing moves well. The story is incredible and both Flair and Shawn nailed the putting down Old Yeller vibe they were going for. I think even work wise, Flair gave it his all and even busted out some stuff he didn't do that much like the different suplexes.

 

[909]

It's the Bucks best match, it's forever going to be their most memorable match, he's their biggest fan and didn't think the match was perfect. Strange guy. All I have to say is, if you think it wasn't perfect you really should have been there. Truthfully I don't understand why THE wrestling journalist didn't go to this show.

The meat match getting rated at more than a dud is weird too.

After the pay-per-view went off the air with Sting holding a microphone in his hand, the congratulations extended into the back. All the major players were thrilled, and the only issue backstage became people not wanting to leave the building in fear that the feeling they had all experienced would fade.

The SI guy who wrote this probably wrote the best, most accurate quote on what people hope for when they go to wrestling shows. A night so perfect that nobody wanted it to end.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Truthfully I don't understand why THE wrestling journalist didn't go to this show.

Cause he hates Sting. Duh.

 

[Valeyard]

The reasons you loved being there are why Dave would hate being there.

 

[BruiserBrody]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1771346439848792532

See what happens when you give Will Ostrich too many stars all the time?

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

He's really just going back to Meltz's own criteria that he abandoned...for Omega.

 

[Valeyard]

Going higher than five stars is so stupid for anyone. But I always thought the full five was intended for matches that caused major shifts in the business or created significant impacts, like Austin/Bret for instance, so it's been watered down perpetually since. Like a full five should be for super special matches, not just really great ones. That's why four and up is there. But this is said as someone who despises star ratings and too has evolved into using them for a quick reference vs a standard of overall quality.

 

[BruiserBrody]

Corny and Weasel Dooley invented it. Lawler vs Funk was the first 5 star match and Corny pretty much says even that was a "joke" as 4 stars was the limit but Funk/Lawler was that awesome.
--
"Will Ostrich did 34 back flips and no sold 15 Bolo punches. 8.5 stars"

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

That's the irony of it, sure, but given most ratings scales are out of 5 or 10 anyway? 1-5 stars was perfect for quick reference on how good some matches and talents are.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

GDI. Discourse about Meltzer giving Cody/Reigns "only" ***1/2 sent me down another rabbit hole (Damn you @Epic Springs ).

First off, it'll never fail to baffle me that Meltzer gave the worst, major Bret/Owen match *****. I can't think of any reason why that SummerSlam '94 cage match is a perfect match. He must have been bullied by the '94 WON readers for not giving Bret/Owen at WrestleMania X the full five and did it for the rematch to appease them. Now that cage match...that's a ***1/2 match (OK, maybe closer to **** but nowhere near five!)

Second and most glaringly, until the mid 2010s, he could go years without rating a match five stars and suddenly, there's like ten matches a year that he gives the full monty too? Maybe it is him getting soft in old age. Look I'm not one of those cynical bastards who hate the current product. And athletically/gymnastically speaking (which I think is a lot of what Meltzer likes), I can agree with the idea that pro wrestling in the past 5-10 years is better than it's ever been. HOWEVER, it's not 10x better than it's ever been.

I honestly think Uncle Dave is trolling us a bit and is overrating (or underrating maybe in the case of Cody/Reigns) matches to boost the algorithm and get dorks like me and Epic chattering!

 

[Brocklock]

Meltz gave it 4.75, don't know where the *** 1/2 number came from. Looking at his ratings, he actually went super high on some stuff like the ladder match, the LWO tag, Drew/Seth spamming finishers, the US triple threat, and AJ/Knight. I'd probably go a star rating lower or maybe more on some of these.

WWE WrestleMania XL, Saturday

Becky Lynch vs. Rhea Ripley: 4.25

Tag Titles Ladder match: 4.25

Andrade & Rey vs. Dominik & Santos: 3.75

Jey Uso vs. Jimmy Uso: 0.75

Belair, Cargill & Naomi vs. Damage CTRL: 2

Gunther vs. Sami Zayn: 4.5

Reigns & The Rock vs. Rhodes & Rollins: 4

WWE WrestleMania XL, Sunday

Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins: 3.5

AOP & Karrion Kross vs. Bobby Lashley & Street Profits: 1.75

AJ Styles vs. LA Knight: 3.5

Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul vs. Randy Orton: 4.25

Bayley vs. IYO SKY: 4.5

Cody Rhodes vs. Roman Reigns: 4.75 (Dave said he debated 5 due to the story/spectacle)

 

[Hawk 34]

Then god damn blister him for the ladder match not the main event this shit is hilarious the randomness of it.