Classic Rock Songs that just fuckin' suck

[BUTT]

I was going to see them at Bethel Woods with the Pretenders last year if not for COVID. I've passed up many chances to see them in the past so I guess I'm not that crazy about them without Perry. However, the story of why the lineup changed is kinda interesting. Ross Valory and Steve Smith were fired after they, according to Schon and Cain, attempted a coup to seize control of Nightmare Productions (Journey's corporate entity) and then retire from the band while still getting paid. (Documents relevant to the legal proceedings reveal that Perry, as per the 1998 agreement that excised him from the band, gets paid 12.5% of their net tour income!) I'm surprised they let Deen back in since he was accused of rape among many other bad things, but I suspect he's there because NMW won't play every show with them. I'm not sure if Randy will play with them at all. They have a bassist named Marco Mendoza (whose named I've heard a lot over the years and I always assumed he was the same person as Mark Mendoza from Twisted Sister, but I guess not) and a second keyboardist who also sings lead on some songs. But I watched a little of that Lollapalooza video and Arnel's voice is really wearing thin. He's been doing it longer than Perry and I think he's at the end of his rope. Hope he doesn't resort to lip syncing like Steve Augeri.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Those Journey songs are effin hard to sing for a sustained period of time. I actually think Journey was veering towards the right direction during brief period where they hired Jeff Scott Soto. They should probably get a power metal vocalist next time they are looking for a vocalist.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

David Lee Roth announces his retirement from music: “It’s been an amazing run”

Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth says he’s “throwing in the shoes” following his January 2022 residency in Las Vegas

www.loudersound.com

DLR is retiring after his Las Vegas residency in January.

Is anything less surprising than DLR retiring after an embarrassing Vegas show? This is something that seems meant to be.

 

[Fall of Epic]

I'm surprised Gene Simmons railroading him didn't send him in an existential crisis.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

It probably did, presumably. Gene apologized for his comments which is rare for him and Paul posted all over his social media what an amazing front man DLR has been over the years. Like I don't think Gene railroading him and replacing him with a GD rock n roll painter was sole reason he retired but being publicly humiliated by a fellow superwashed classic rock act did probably hasten the decision.


As a classic rock nerd, I do want to point how fitting it is that Gene Simmons discovered Van Halen and produced their demo then played a role in DLR retiring.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Rolling Stones Retire 'Brown Sugar' Due to Slavery Depictions

Rolling Stones retire 'Brown Sugar' due to slavery depictions.

www.tmz.com

Gossip websites that fuckin' suck!

Stones haven't said they're retiring the song (or waiting for "woke culture to die down" to add it back to the setlist like the article said). They're just taking a break from it. They probably SHOULD retire it but I'd be willing to bet (Cue CWM crack about not honoring bets) that they play it by the end of the tour.

I overheard that TMZ subtly became a right wing alarmist site but I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes until now!

 

[Valeyard]

It won't stop some serious drunk slapfights at karaoke places. No joke. And it doesn't belong in the "fucking suck" thread wtf.

 

[BUTT]

I took a quick look at setlist.fm and it seems they've played it at almost every show for at least the last 20 years, and I assume probably the 30 before that but I'm not that invested in it to keep matching the number of shows per year and the number of "Brown Sugar" performances per year. It's clear that they're not playing it because of the racism, which is fine but don't pretend it isn't happening. Sebastian Bach is only performing half of "Get the Fuck Out" on his Slave to the Grind tour (which I may be going to next week - stay tuned for updates) because he has deemed the lyrics too problematic, and I think Mick is a little more judicious than Baz.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

No joke. And it doesn't belong in the "fucking suck" thread wtf.

Musically, absolutely not. Thematically, maybe. I mean people were questioning if it was problematic in the 70s! It had its time, people can still hear it whenever but I'm more than OK with the Stones retiring it. It's amazing it lasted in their setlist and classic rock radio rotations as long as it has!

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

New Footage of VINCE NEIL Performing MOTLEY CRUE Classics In Tampa Surfaces For You To Suffer Through

Vince Neil must really love to go out and play. Either that, or for some reason, he needs the money? Whatever the case, Neil was back on stage at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa, Florida on Thursday, October 14th and Blabbermouth managed to scour the internet to find footage of Neil

metalinjection.net

How the hell are Motley Crue going to get through a stadium tour with this friggin goof next summer?

Well I guess Steve Harwell and David Lee Roth will be available.

 

[BUTT]

Funny thing is Vince only sings 9 songs at his solo shows and he still needs to take a ten minute break in the middle of the set where his guitarist sings "Heaven and Hell" and "Whole Lotta Love." He played in Middletown with Night Ranger a few years ago and I do not regret not going. I highly doubt his bloated ass can handle a full Crue tour but I'm sure they'll have plenty of backing tracks to help out.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1470000480554131457

I thought when people talked about fat Jim Morrison, he was just fat by (non Vince Neil) rock frontman standards but I scrolled by this on the TL and thought it was early '00s Zach Galafianakis.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1469993282096750595

Neil Young, I love him, deserves his own wing of the Classic Rock that just fuckin' sucks Hall of Fame.

 

[Valeyard]

I see no evidence of this being a classic rock song nor it sucking, man. Little I'm hearing now is just Neil Young doing Neil Young stuff.

He's the only member of CSNY who doesn't deserve a wing.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Hawks & Doves? Trans? Everybody's Rockin? Greendale? "Let's Impeach The President"? The album that he recorded in an old timey phonograph booth? The concept album about electric cars? THE ALBUM THAT HE RECORDED WITH AMBIENT BARNYARD NOISES?

Some of those are ACTUALLY GOOD (Trans FTW) but he is like the classic rock predecessor to a shitposter.

 

[Valeyard]

The good way outweighs the bad by some measure. If we're equating it to "shitposting," there's WAY worse across all plains. My hatred of CSNY notwithstanding I will die on the hill of even the worst of Neil being better than the best of that prick Graham Nash, and I don't even think about Neil most of the time.

I did buy Greendale at the time and it wasn't bad, just far too long, but young me might've liked it more than current me.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I love CSN (and CSNY). *breaks bottle against the wall* It is purely a product of me trying to fit in with the high school chorus kids. Graham Nash might be my 2nd favorite or at the very least, a strong third behind Neil and Stephen Stills. As much as I love his cameos in Hook and The Simpsons Croz's has always been a bit too esoteric for me and he has blocked too many of my friends on Twitter.

I say Neil has produced a lot of music that fuckin sucks with love and affection. Bob Dylan and Paul McCartney are my favorites and they could also warrant their own wings of the Classic Rock That Fuckin' Sucks Hall of Fame. Any Steve Miller Band or George Thorogood & The Destroyers* can produce Classic Rock That Sucks but it takes a true great to produce Classic Rock That Fuckin' Sucks.


*@Laz starts thinking whether or not he has enough vacation time to drive up to Southern Maine to punch me in the face.

 

[Valeyard]

Graham Nash was supposed to speak at my high school and blew it off with no reason given. Didn't apologize until he got harassed into doing so and that was a month later. I somehow got on the list of like ten kids to have lunch with him and he bailed. This and the war crime "Our House" will make me hate him forever. Also Harvest > anything CSN.

I'm not saying Neil or anyone is infallible because no act is infallible. McCartney alone is responsible for some dreadful shit, for instance. I'm not even a big Neal guy, all told, but his good stuff is really good and a lot of people remember that before anything...I dunno, pre 2000.

This album is still sounding alright though. Definitely does not fucking suck, to be sure. Gimmicky never 100% means bad, and if it's someone like Neil Young who's never had a good voice to begin with, it's way better than just staying a course.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

There's also a Barn film adaptation, directed by Neil's paramour Daryl Hannah!

 

[Valeyard]

He did that for Greendale too, but I never watched it. But good on him for Daryl Hannah.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Eric Clapton wins legal case against woman selling bootleg CD on eBay

Eric Clapton has won a legal case against a German woman who attempted to sell a bootleg CD of his on eBay.

www.nme.com

I can’t stand it.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1488346939838001157

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Aimee Mann Says Steely Dan Have Dropped Her From Their Tour: “It Seems They Thought Their Audience Wouldn’t Like A Female Singer-Songwriter?”

If you hang around Aimee Mann’s Instagram, you’ll come across lots of hand-drawn comics. One four-panel illustration posted today appeared to announce that Mann was dropped from her opening slot for Steely Dan’s summer tour because “it seems like they thought their audience wouldn’t like a...

www.stereogum.com

Strange IRL classic rock feuds.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1509901117613912064

Wrong Van Zant brother died.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

The Doors tried to replace Jim Morrison with Paul McCartney

Following the death of Jim Morrison, The Doors didn't know what to do and they even attempted to get former Beatles member Paul McCartney to replace him.

faroutmagazine.co.uk

I just found out about this. I want to live in the alternate universe where Macca replaces Jim Morrison in The Doors instead of forming Wings.

Macca joining The Doors in midst of one of most indulgent eras of his career would've been something else.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

The Best AC/DC Songs That Are Not Actually by AC/DC

A look back at soundalike songs that put AC/DC's huge influence into perspective.

ultimateclassicrock.com

Jackyl's got to be pretty pissed that they didn't make this list.

 

[Fall of Epic]

I guess it's fitting that Bon Jovi started as Jon Bon Jovi and a bunch of hired guns and is going to end that way. I know less about the rest of Bon Jovi than pretty much other classic rock band. I know original Bon Jovi bassist (who was in the band until 1995! Alec Jon Such doesn't have his own Wikipedia entry and Tico Torres is a cool name but that's about it.

No wiki bio and now Dead. RIP.

Alec John Such, Bon Jovi’s First Bassist, Dies at 70

Bassist Alec John Such, a founding member of Bon Jovi, has died at the age of 70, Jon Bon Jovi announced on social media today (June 5). A cause of death is as yet unknown. “We are heartbroke…

www.google.com

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1536423224006672385

Now I know what @BUTT ’s soundtrack in Hell sounds like.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Their band name is Mars Junction.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Crowd brawl breaks out during Eagles performance of Take It Easy in London

The fight broke out in the Diamond VIP area in Hyde Park, where ticket prices started at just £399

www.loudersound.com

C’mon. This is London not Philly!