Classic Rock Songs that just fuckin' suck

[Fall of Epic]

Dreams was my favorite Van Halen song for many years (I might even still put it on my top 5 today). It was on the soundtrack to the first Power Rangers movie and I didn't know who Hagar or DLR were at the time. Once I learned the band had two different prolific singers, I fought with myself on who I liked better. DLR wins out obviously but I still do enjoy a good portion of Hagar's era.

Fun fact: my older brother's favorite Van Halen song is Humans Being, that dumb song they did for the Twister movie, and also the very last thing they recorded with Hagar (not counting the songs they recorded for the '04 comp).

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

The Real SHT: Critic J.D. Considine on His Infamous 'GTR' Review

Music journalist J.D. Considine spoke to UCR in July 2021 about his famous, three-letter pan (SHT) of GTR's self-titled 1986 LP.

ultimateclassicrock.com

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Post Eliminator era ZZ Top until the mid '90s when they rediscovered they were a blues band is like seeing your uncle date a twentysomething. I guess you're happy for them but it's also kind of uncomfortable and kind of embarrassing for everyone involved.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1417902219303718913

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

...good

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Post Eliminator era ZZ Top until the mid '90s when they rediscovered they were a blues band is like seeing your uncle date a twentysomething. I guess you're happy for them but it's also kind of uncomfortable and kind of embarrassing for everyone involved.

I hope this didn't play some sort of small part in Dusty Hill's demise.


Thought I've wondered about a ton reading histories of MTV. Why is Van Halen's "Jump" considered a great example of low budget music videos by a classic rock icon and Rolling Stones "Start Me Up" considered a terrible example of low budget music videos by a classic rock icon? They're essentially the same thing (the band goofing off and acting like themselves in the studio) and I wouldn't be surprised at all if former was inspired by latter.

My only guess is it's ageism related. 30 year olds goofing around is a lot more appealing and likable than 40 year olds mugging.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

VH was goofing around doing the things that made people like VH. Jagger was just prancing in a neon leotard as if he were part of a community interpretive dance troupe.

Interpretive dance has never been seen as cool.

 

[Valeyard]

He isn't though.

 

[Big Papa Paegan]

...except for my sophomore year history presentation, "World War II: An Interpretive Dance," which made everybody stand on their desks, applaud wildly, and was instrumental in drumming up local support for Operation Iraqi Freedom. citation needed

 

[Valeyard]

"Start Me Up" is hilarious just for simplicity. A lot of that era where it's just a band playing like a band are just really easy to do. "Jump" is actually when they started learning how videos worked and got better production and also an era-defining song vs the Stones being the Stones like they had been for fifteen years.

Now you wanna bash Stones videos and their output after Tattoo You, just watch "Mixed Emotions" which is the one Laz mentioned with the leotard.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Yeah. It's a bummer that the Rolling Stones only started caring about music video production after people stopped caring about their current music.

(I will stan Voodoo Lounge forever though)

 

[Valeyard]

I'll defend parts of Bridges To Babylon.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

RIP Biz Markie.

Also the only Stones album with THREE Keith songs.

 

[Gary]

Confession time: I like the Van Hagar song "Poundcake". Granted, this is probably because it was once RVD's song in ECW, but that's about it. I also used to do a decent Sammy Hagar impression, but years of growling/grunting/screeching/screaming along to extreme metal has put an end to that.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Poundcake" is definitely on my Mt. Rushmore of Van Hagar songs.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Mine is "Dreams", "Why Can't This Be Love?", "Right Now", and "Feels So Good".

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Poundcake", "When It's Love", "Right Now", "Dreams"

 

[Incandenza]

Van Hagar has the weird personal distinction where Sammy joined the band right around when I really started paying attention to MTV and the radio as a kid. And while I didn't love the material, I didn't mind it. But to put things in perspective, I *did* own a couple of Van Halen cassettes and even some solo DLR stuff (which fucking LOL).

Anyway, Hagar-era VH is just pure fucking garbage to my ears now. And it wasn't like Roth was any good after he left the band; it's almost as if Dave and Eddie kept in check each other's worst impulses.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1422550570108440582

Classic rock conert reviews that just fucking suck?

 

[Fall of Epic]

Oof. That didn't age well. VH always had their fair share of loud critics, though. Their legacy (rightfully) holds up and are respected as one of their best in their genre but there was a period probably after Cherone was booted and before DLR returned in the late 2000s where they were shit on pretty heavily.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

That period in the mid '00s where EVH was super boozed out and they randomly had a Van Hagar reunion that no one asked for was super weird.


All culminating with EVH scoring a soft core porno

Yes, Eddie Van Halen Made a Porno Soundtrack

'Sacred Sin,' the pornographic film featuring music from Eddie Van Halen, was celebrated at a raucous launch party on Sept. 30, 2006.

ultimateclassicrock.com

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

KISS drops 'past his prime' David Lee Roth from tour: Gene Simmons

David Lee Roth has been dropped as the support act for the U.S. leg of KISS’ farewell tour, because the band feels he’s past his prime.

calgaryherald.com

He can't even jog with the devil at this point.

Also given how bad Paul Stanley has sounded at times in past decade, Gene probably shouldn't be throwing stones from his glass house!

 

[Fall of Epic]

KISS thread, bro.

 

[Gary]

KISS drops 'past his prime' David Lee Roth from tour: Gene Simmons

David Lee Roth has been dropped as the support act for the U.S. leg of KISS’ farewell tour, because the band feels he’s past his prime.

calgaryherald.com

He can't even jog with the devil at this point.

Also given how bad Paul Stanley has sounded at times in past decade, Gene probably shouldn't be throwing stones from his glass house!

Yelling out stage banter probably didn't help

 

[AA484]

I'm trying to think of the song that best fits this thread title. I have reached a decision:

I was tempted to put "Rock and Roll All Nite" here but the live version saves it.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Yelling out stage banter probably didn't help

Fact that he still does the yelling onstage banter really hurts. I guess Paul Stanley's stage raps are as crucial part of the KISS experience as any of the songs but he sounds like an old Jewish grandmother at this point. And it's weird to have him screaming and yelling between songs then speak singing "Love Gun".

So yeah, even before DLR was dropped from the tour, I had made my decision to skip that show. And every music thread is a KISS thread waiting to happen as far as I am concerned, @Epic for the Summer !

 

[Fall of Epic]

Back to the performance painter it is!

 

[Valeyard]

Neighbor is bumping "Life's Been Good." I just gave him a beer and he does this.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Back to the performance painter it is!

KISS back with painter David Garibaldi as opening act rather than Diamond Dave - Sleaze Roxx

KISS back with painter David Garibaldi as opening act rather than Diamond Dave Say it isn't so. KISS have elected to continue their End of The Road World Tour with painter David Garibaldi as the opening act rather than Van Halen's former flamboyant frontman David Lee Roth (also known as Diamond...

sleazeroxx.com

I swear I was joking!

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

snarky cynical Gen Xers must have been weeping in agony that JOURNEY headlined Lollapalooza earlier this summer.

Idk if @BUTT cares about non Steve Perry Journey but the newest lineup is really weird. They have two drummers for some reason, they let wifebeater Deen Castronovo back in the band and added '80s R&B superproducer Narada Michael Walden. Also their bassist is returning from the Raised on the Radio era, American Idol judge Randy Jackson (although I guess he just had back surgery so he couldn't be at this show, dog).

Also Arnel seems dressed more like a member of a boy band than Journey. I can't believe that guy is in his mid 50s.