Classic Rock Songs that just fuckin' suck

[alkeiper]

I'm no Eagles expert but that strikes me as a direct violation of everything that song stands for.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

It's a pretty fair replication of behind the scenes at an Eagles recording session in the late '70s though.

 

[Valeyard]

The protagonist of the song is kind of a shit though.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Pat Benatar Cuts 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot' From Concerts Due to Mass Shootings

'You have to draw the line,' says the singer.

loudwire.com

SAD!

(She has hated singing this song for years so I'm glad she's finally found an excuse to cut it from the setlist)

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Happy 30th anniversary to one of the all time shittiest late era albums- The Beach Boys Summer in Paradise

Idk what's worse- the early '90s CGI or Mike Love insisting on wearing a vest with no shirt underneath.

 

[Fall of Epic]

Crazy that Mike Love is still out there touring. He looked ancient 30 years ago!

I'm not ashamed that Full House and the Muppets were my entry into the Beach Boys.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Crazy how much older people looked in the '90s" post: MUSIC FOLDER edition.

Mike Love in that video was a year younger than Dave Grohl is now and the same age that Rivers Cuomo is now.

Not that Grohl and Rivers are ageless and spritely now but I doubt they inspire the "Who are these friggin old guys?" reactions from Gen Zers that The Beach Boys got from me when they appeared on Home Improvement. Idk. Maybe they do!

(I feel like RHCP has to be the "Who are these old guys?" band for Gen Zers. That's just a hunch.)

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

This has to be one of my least favorite covers ever. All of The Beach Boys except Carl look and act like Michael McKean’s character in Airheads plus Stamos giving off major douche chills.

 

[Valeyard]

The only thing worth noting about the post-Brian Wilson Beach Boys.

Mike Love is almost on Graham Nash-level to me.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I think death of Dennis Wilson really had as much to do with the death of Beach Boys's artistic merit as Brian Wilson being out of the scene. Obviously he didn't have the output Brian did but he was the spirit of the band and I think after he died, Carl Wilson just lost his passion (so tough) and went along with whatever Mike Love wanted.

 

[Fall of Epic]

The only thing worth noting about the post-Brian Wilson Beach Boys.

Mike Love is almost on Graham Nash-level to me.

Love that they took out the song's sole weed reference but left in the sex one.

 

[Valeyard]

Because the Muppets rule.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Worst Solo Albums by Superstar Band Members

Some artists should've stayed in their famous bands instead of making awful solo albums.

ultimateclassicrock.com

Oh man. Shots fired. I haven't heard this Ray Manzarek solo album that is #1 but it must be something if it beat Dee Dee King and Two Sides of the Moon.

Unwarranted but unsurprising potshot at Peter Criss. If you have to include a KISS solo album on one of these lists, I'd go with Gene Simmons Asshole or one of Ace Frehley's cover albums from past decade. Idk if late era albums by classic rock bands count as classic rock though necessarily.

Also really trolling hipsters by including Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs!

 

[Valeyard]

That Keith Moon album is legit one of the worst things I've ever heard.

I'm very surprised there's no Metal Machine Music. This is usually the reason why such lists happen.

 

[Gary]

I didn’t even know people still used the term hipster til today

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Two Sides of the Moon is at least charming in how earnest it is despite being a completely awful idea. Story of Brian Wilson breaking into hysterical sobbing after hearing Moon's cover of "Don't Worry Baby" is hilarious in a sick way.

Probably a lot of you will come at me with pitchforks for this but Lou Reed is probably too weird/indie to be considered classic rock? I've heard "Walk on the Wild Side" more on the oldies station than the classic rock station (and I feel like that's the only Lou Reed song I'll hear on the radio unless it's a college station or some sort of deep cuts weekend).

 

[Valeyard]

I've heard "Perfect Day" and "What's Good" on classic rock radio in the past.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

"Satellite of Love" gets rare play too, I think but he's definitely far from a staple.

I remember "Busload of Faith" once or twice in the Fall of '01 when the classic rock station was grasping at straws for inspirational stuff to play after 9/11.

The UK singles charts are weird anecdote...Lou Reed has three Top 10 hits there. Obvious one but also one in 1997 and one in 2004! They're both covers or remixes of '70s songs ("Perfect Day" and "Satellite of Love") but that just kind of makes it weirder. But then again, Kate Bush just had Top 5 hit so I don't know squat.

 

[Valeyard]

If Bowie can count under the classic rock banner, Lou can.

Without looking that 2004 one might be from The Raven which is another hilariously bad album and definitely the worst pre-Lulu (this is assuming you don't count Metal Machine Music as a real album).

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Bowie's songs are in regular rotation on classic rock radio.

Lou Reed's in same category as Dylan and Grateful Dead of artists who show up on classic rock lists than they're played on classic rock radio.

 

[Valeyard]

What kind of classic rock are you listening to? Because I've heard both Dylan and the Dead with not irregular frequency.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

This is mostly based on listening in the 2000s-2010s so maybe it's changed in last few years. Dylan used to get played fairly regularly but when they started phasing out '60s music, I think he went from occasionally played to rarely played (except for "Knockin' on Heaven's Door").

Dead had opposite trajectory. They were the hugely popular live band that barely got played on the radio but since their critical appraisal in the past decade, I think they've gone up from rare play to occasional play.

 

[Valeyard]

"Touch Of Grey" is inescapable and the Dead are not very good.

 

[AA484]

Classic rock stations in Maine (and North Carolina, for me) probably aren't on the same level as classic rock stations in New York or Los Angeles. I feel there are at least half a dozen Lou Reed songs that get some play on good (bear with me) classic rock radio.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

Yeah but the J. Geils Band album tracks we get make up for it!

 

[Valeyard]

Off the top of my head, at different points, I've heard:

"Perfect Day"
"What's Good"
"Walk On The Wild Side"
"Vicious"
and probably a couple of Velvet Underground songs (off of Loaded, naturally) on the radio. This isn't counting the stuff I played into the ground when I was doing radio.

 

[Incandenza]

VU doesn't get airplay on mainstream classic-rock radio lol

Nor does solo Lou Reed outside of "Walk on the Wild Side". You've imagined most of this shit, dude.

 

[Incandenza]

Pink Floyd are considered this quintessential classic rock band but you only ever heard songs from Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, and The Wall. Pink Floyd have a lot more albums than that! No one was playing VU on FM classic-rock stations in the 80s/90s/etc.

 

[Valeyard]

Not true. I know for a fact I've heard "Sweet Jane" more than once, as well as solo Lou. It was a welcome surprise every time.

 

[Incandenza]

:classic-rock dj, fresh off playing their station's hourly lunchtime Led Zeppelin block called Lunch with Led:
"Now here's the Velvet Underground with "Pale Blue Eyes"