ViciousFish said:
I'm really bad with specs. Minimums say I need at least a Radeon 7870 video card. I'm running a 7800. How fucked am I?
AMD Radeon HD 7800 would be a series of video cards, rather than a specific card. If you bought the card/computer in the past 3½ years, it should be either an HD 7870 (the listed minimum), or an HD 7850—which is a little less powerful, but should probably be fine.
The other option is you have a card from the Nvidia GeForce 7800 series. (Yes, it's confusing.) Those cards are about 10 years old, and would not cut it.
If you want to know for sure,
run DXDiag, switch to the "Display" tab, and your card's "Chip Type" should be near the top-left.