Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

[Dr. Zaius]

Of all the things that didn't make sense to me, the one that bothered me the most was

Spoiler

Megatron's relationship with The Fallen. Megatron is frozen on Earth for hundreds or thousands of years, Starscream takes over the Decepticons. Suddenly Megatron's back for five minutes before getting destroyed, then is dead at the bottom of the ocean for 2 years. Starscream gets in trouble for taking charge of the Decepticons. Five seconds later, Megatron is taking orders from The Fallen. So there was some reason Megatron was necessary to the Decepticon's operation that Starscream couldn't take orders from The Fallen? Neither guy is ever actually in charge of anything, but great lengths are made to bring Megatron back for some reason that's never explained.

A definite point where I wondered if anyone ever actually read the entire script was when

Spoiler

The shard of the All-Spark turns Sam's kitchen into robots, and Sam calls for Bumblebee to save him, which Bumblebee does. Sam then yells at him for ...???? Bumblebee then goes back to the garage to sulk, and Sam gives Bumblebee this whole speech about how he doesn't need protecting anymore. Its as if everything before Sam yelling at Bumblebee was from one story, then everything after that is from another story where Sam hadn't just been attacked.

This is one continuous sequence, but the parts do not combine into anything logical or coherent.

Sam must really hate Bumblebee, or is the stupidest human alive.

Spoiler

Every time Sam has to get from point A to point B he goes on foot instead of getting in his alien robot sports car. These 3 cAutobots that accompany Sam, tMegan Fox, and the obnoxious roommate also seem to forget they can turn into cars and also travel around on foot quite a bit, and r4eally suck at not drawing attention to themselves despite the fact they can DISGUISE THEMSELVES AS CARS.

 

[CBright7831]

Here is my non-spoiler review of the movie:











Fuck this movie.











Thank you for reading and enjoying my review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

 

[Youth N Asia]

I didn't like the first one at all. I find myself wanting to see this one just to see if it's this bad.

 

[Rendclaw]

I'm glad that I made a decision not to see it in the theaters. A netflix rental, perhaps.

 

[Damaramu]

I liked it. I liked the first one and didn't go into this looking for things to hate. Then again I guess I'm more easily entertained by mindless popcorn flicks. So I had a good time.
I hate so many other things in life and have a negative attitude about a lot, but strangely movies isn't one of them and I can be entertained by just about any movie.

 

[2GOLD]

Hearing they increased the amount of everything we hated about the first movie soured this for me and my lady. We hated the comedy, hated the plot holes, hated the slow motion scene bullshit and hated the "Hey, just here to die" transformers. All we've heard is the movie is essentially that times 1000.

 

[Damaramu]

Man I really don't see why people hated these movies so much. I really enjoyed both. But like I said, I don't hate a lot of movies. I was entertained by both.

They did go overboard with the comedy in this one, but it usually drew a laugh from me so no complaints really. I didn't like the two black robots.

 

[ZGangsta]

Holy fuck, this movie was atrocious.

 

[Mattdotcom]

I can't decided what's more shocking. People seeing this and liking it, people seeing it and hating it, or people seeing it.

 

[Haws Bah Gawd]

I really enjoyed this film for what it was. Then again, I've been a fan since the early 80's. I enjoy the humor and action from this and the first film. You don't go into Transformers looking for an Oscar contender, or even a coherent plot. You go into this to see a crapton of explosions, and some CGI robots in an all out war. Really, if you don't know what to expect from a "Michael Bay film" by now, and you go in expecting something that's going to astound and fascinate you on an intellectual level, then you're only fooling yourself.

 

[Gary]

But as I already said, there's a difference between "dumb but fun" (which I thought the first one was) an so "just plain dumb and generally bad" (which is what this one was.) Of course nobody expects an Oscar worthy type of movie here (and what kind of argument is that really?) They expect to be entertained, and this offered very little in that regard. Instead what I got was basically a version of the previous movie that was more annoying and obnoxious, and had little if any of what I felt made the previous movie a guilty pleasure.

Spoiler

For example: in the original, no matter how you felt about Shia's character (I actually didn't mind it, but then again I don't think he's a bad actor) you at least get a sense that he's an everyman caught in a bigger than life situation. Here he has less to work with, and at times almost feels like a background character.

If anything, I can only recommend this so somebody so they can see how Michael Bay's mind works, because out of all his movies, this reveals that the most. It's a place that sounds fun when you say "Explosions and Giant Robots beating the shit out of each other and Megan Fox", but has so many bad things in it that even the good things mentioned can't save it. At least the previous one largely felt like Transformers to me. This just felt like a grotesque, ugly parody of Transformers, and is a perfect example of what happens when a.) you give Michael Bay too much creative control and b.) of how bad a bloated Blockbuster movie can be.

Another thing that bugged was the tone of the movie. At one moment we get a solemn moment with Prime or death and destruction everywhere, and the next we have Skids and Mudflap goofing off or Devastator's testicles being revealed. It's a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

Spoiler

I actually wouldn't have minded Megatron becoming subservient to The Fallen if The Fallen actually was the nearly unstoppable, almost deity like force he was hyped to be. That would have been understandable. When we finally see the thing, you're left thinking "That's it?" He just ends up feeling like a waste of perfectly good potential.

 

[CBright7831]

Spill.com's Transformers 2 Review

 

[Youth N Asia]

You don't go into Spiderman expecting Oscar gold. But damn if it isn't at least a fun time.

 

[Gary]

If there is any one thing about Michael Bay that his fans and detractors can agree on, it's that the man is completely bugfuck insane. The Spill.com review was pretty much correct.

 

[Byron The Bulb]

If anything, I can only recommend this so somebody so they can see how Michael Bay's mind works, because out of all his movies, this reveals that the most. It's a place that sounds fun when you say "Explosions and Giant Robots beating the shit out of each other and Megan Fox", but has so many bad things in it that even the good things mentioned can't save it. At least the previous one largely felt like Transformers to me. This just felt like a grotesque, ugly parody of Transformers, and is a perfect example of what happens when a.) you give Michael Bay too much creative control and b.) of how bad a bloated Blockbuster movie can be.

Another thing that bugged was the tone of the movie. At one moment we get a solemn moment with Prime or death and destruction everywhere, and the next we have Skids and Mudflap goofing off or Devastator's testicles being revealed. It's a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

Okay, I'm officially going to go see this (in IMAX!) on my day off next week. It sounds incredible.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Can the people who liked it and those of us who didn't at least agree that the worst thing about the movie was the human characters (except the the Autobot twins)? I might have been able to overlook a lot of things if the Transformers had actually been the stars of the movie instead of minor supporting characters.

 

[Damaramu]

But as I already said, there's a difference between "dumb but fun" (which I thought the first one was) an so "just plain dumb and generally bad" (which is what this one was.)

You say this as if it were fact. I didn't think it was generally bad or dumb at all. I still found this dumb but fun. Guess it boils down to taste in the end.

 

[KOAB]

Minstrel show robots = LULZ

 

[Twisted Intestine]

They did a VIP deal where for $25 you get in ahead of the rest of the 600 plus rest of the people, so me and a friend basically got sweet dead center of the entire megaplex.

What happens if everyone buys the VIP tickets? PARADOX!

 

[Haws Bah Gawd]

I liked it, and I enjoyed the human characters. So, I won't be agreeing with you on that one Zaius.

 

[luke-o]

I really enjoyed this film for what it was. Then again, I've been a fan since the early 80's. I enjoy the humor and action from this and the first film. You don't go into Transformers looking for an Oscar contender, or even a coherent plot. You go into this to see a crapton of explosions, and some CGI robots in an all out war. Really, if you don't know what to expect from a "Michael Bay film" by now, and you go in expecting something that's going to astound and fascinate you on an intellectual level, then you're only fooling yourself.

No, I go to a Transformers film to see Transformers beating other Transformers. Not bad comedy (yes that was a reference).

 

[RedJed]

Film has already made upwards of 400 million worldwide in 5 days. Nearly beat out Dark Knight's first 5 days as well by just a few million at 201 million (and it's possible when the final totals from this weekend are tallied, it could beat it). Made 15 million in the IMAX version alone. Damn. I'm sure this will have legs, at least for a few weeks. Guess Hollywood got their big gun for the summer they were hoping for after last year's Dark Knight stuff.

After thinking about the film as a whole more a few days since I went to it now, I can say it actually was better than the first one, but I'm basing these types of movies almost solely on the shoot-em up/popcorn movie factor alone, meaning I went into it looking forward to the action scenes more than anything and with that said, was really impressed with the movie. The bad comedy shit definately hurt it, but not so much to where I can't say I left the movie unsatisfied. I think I might have felt a little differently, though, if I hadnt went to this in the IMAX and just opted for a normal run of the mill theater that showed it.

 

[CBright7831]

Film has already made upwards of 400 million worldwide in 5 days. Nearly beat out Dark Knight's first 5 days as well by just a few million at 201 million (and it's possible when the final totals from this weekend are tallied, it could beat it).

...

 

[Gary]

If you haven't seen the movie, just read this review. It's the best thing ever.

 

[Skywarp!]

What bothered me about the first film was not being able to make spatial sense of the Transformers' huge CGI battles. It was just close-ups of chunks of intertwined robots and Blair Witch-style shaky-cam camera work. Ebert talks more about the awful character design and shooting in his blog:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/06/the_fall_of_the_revengers.html

And man, he really, really hates it when people outrun explosions (he also made a great point about Brendan Frasier outrunning daylight in his The Mummy Returns review).

 

[Twisted Intestine]

My only problem with it is that it's a little obnoxious at times and it's too long. I didn't have any problem following the story like everyone else claims to. Sure some parts of the story might suck, but I always knew what was going on.

 

[Damaramu]

Man this movie is garnering a lot of hate. I guess it's cool to hate on it. Damn maybe I should do an about face and hate it.
Ah nuts to that, I still liked it.
I didn't like killer robot lady, but that was just a small part.
Besides, this will be a piece of art compared to GI-Joe.

 

[Byron The Bulb]

Minstrel show robots = LULZ

I figured this was being at least somewhat overstated by critics, but nope. Holy shit.

This movie was awful and not at all the hilariously overblown, sensory assaulting spectacle I was expecting. It was just bad and boring. Also, there was far too little Megan Fox content. Bleh. Meh. :\

 

[Positively Kanyon]

I enjoyed it for what it was, a bit of mindless robot action. I agree with a lot of others that there were massive plot holes that conflicted with the first movie. But it's Transformers so the continuity is supposed to be fucked up.

I just wish Michael Bay could keep the camera fucking still for more than 2 seconds so I could see the robots fighting actually clearly! It was great when he went into slow motion cause I could actually see what the fuck was going on!

I did enjoy two throwbacks to the cartoons

Spoiler

Autobot Matrix Of Leadership & Optimus Prime linking up with Jetfire

I'm sure there were others, but I was too busy scoffing down popcorn and enjoying some action.

 

[BUTT]

Minstrel show robots = LULZ

I figured this was being at least somewhat overstated by critics, but nope. Holy shit.

This movie was awful and not at all the hilariously overblown, sensory assaulting spectacle I was expecting. It was just bad and boring. Also, there was far too little Megan Fox content. Bleh. Meh. :\

I have no doubt that this movie sucks a big ol' butt, but there's no way you would have enjoyed it under any circumstances.