Wrestlers and their movies

[atticus Chaos]

Dixie Carter noted on her twitter that Kurt Angle has been taking horseback riding lessons in preparation for a new movie role.

The film is called Deadman's Gold from Lionsgate Home Video. Kurt will play a villain called Boone.The film stars Luke Perry who will also be directing, replacing Lou Diamond Phillips, as Phillips had a scheduing conflit with his Stargate show, plus Luke Goss (80s pop star) and America Oliva (Friday the 13th). Kurt got the role because he put himself on tape and sent it to the casting office.

You know your acting career is flopping when the highlight of your CV will be a Luke Perry directed movie.

 

[Gary]

I just remembered this movie Sting did back in the 90's called "The Real Reason Men Commit Crimes." I've never seen it, but IMDB says it's a Romantic Comedy. Anyone here seen it/aware of it?

 

[atticus Chaos]

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Negatives: If those backstage segments didn't clue anyone in, Ted is a bad actor. Judging by the trailer, he's probably going to go through the entire film talking in that dull, monotone voice. And unlike Cena's movies, where they'll wisely surround him with better actors to deflect from his awfulness, the other actors look just as bad. The script looks utterly awful ("the goal is to save people, not kill them to win!") and the whole thing is a rather blatant Die Hard rip off (which wouldn't be so bad, except Die Hard's been ripped off many, many times before and at least those filmmakers had the imagination to set it on a boat or a bus or something.)

Positives:...um, the scenery looks very nice.

 

[Mattdotcom]

Let's figure out The Marine 3 for WWE Films. First, we need a developmental talent. Judging by the FCW roster, our best bet is this guy.

It's time to get serious to get The Marine franchise back to its roots. This one should be about vets and PTSD.

Also, it should be about America. And Americana. That's why WWE makes movies. To celebrate Americana.

 

[atticus Chaos]

Also, it should be about America. And Americana. That's why WWE makes movies. To celebrate Americana.

And films them in Australia to save money.

I have an idea: make your own WWE movie!

X is a *insert manly occupation*. In fact, he's the toughest *insert manly occupation* around. And he loves America! Then one day, Y kidnaps someone close to X and X must break all the rules to get them back! In the process he jumps from *insert large amount* of explosions and pisses off numerous *insert random weakling authority figure* all to a soundtrack of *insert generic nu-metal band.*

 

[crandamaniac]

Where's the love for Day of the Warrior?

 

[Kahran Ramsus]

Tosh Togo played a major role in Goldfinger (arguably the most memorable role ever for a professional wrestler) and "High Chief" Peter Maivia was in You Only Live Twice.

 

[Baby Shoes]

I watched that Dark Rising with Christian the other night because it was available on Netflix Instant Streaming. I enjoyed it in a cheesy B-movie kind of way. The funny thing is Christian was probably the best actor in there.

 

[claydude14]

End Game with Angle and that Suvivor broad has apparently leaked. Impressions to follow.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

It comes out on DVD next week according to Netflix.

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

Long, long ago when I worked midnights with a portable TV and local stations actually aired TV and movies in the middle of the night instead of Leza Gibbons infomercials for make-up and what have you, I caught a movie where the Ultimate Warrior played a swordsman. He died by hitting an electric outlet with his sword.

IMDB alerts me that this movie was "Firepower" and Warrior played a character named "The Swordsan".

In the year 2007, crime has risen at an exponential rate. Once highly populated metropolises such as Los Angeles are no longer inhabitable. These cities have transformed into "Hell Zones," ruled by violent street gangs. The Hell Zone, formerly called the "Zone of Personal Freedom," is a safe-haven for criminal warpaths everywhere. This Hell Zone in LA is controlled by a criminal mastermind named Drexal (Joseph Ruskin). For the sake of entertaining his crowds of decadent losers and underlings, Drexal has staged a series of lethal, no-holds-barred matches in the "Death Ring," where the winner takes all of the glory...while the defeated one shall lose his self-respect (or maybe just his head). Meanwhile, two brave cops, Braniff (Chad McQueen), and Sledge (Gary Daniels) must risk their badges...and their lives when they enter Los Angeles's "Hell Zone." They must fight for their lives in order to expose an alleged "black market" involving the sale of counterfeit AIDS vaccines. Will these two men triumph against all odds in the Hell Zone alive or will they pay with their lives?

 

[The Buzz]

I have that masterpiece on VHS(Firepower)...as well as Real Reasons Men Commit Crimes with Sting. Real Reasons is watchable....just an independent "artsy" movie.

 

[atticus Chaos]

They showed a trailer for “Marine 2.” It’s the same plot as every Cena movie. Cena has a love interest. Bad guys take her hostage. Against all odds, Cena strives to get her back. Only this time, it’s DiBiase, who in the brief trailer showed no charisma and he had one line and he delivered it like he was learning to be an ECW General Manager.

WON

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

If I wanted a jewish opinion on films I would watch old Gene Siskel reviews. And I do! I can't believe Siskel and Ebert hated Men in Tights so much.

 

[Mattdotcom]

IMDB alerts me that this movie was "Firepower" and Warrior played a character named "The Swordsan".

They must fight for their lives in order to expose an alleged "black market" involving the sale of counterfeit AIDS vaccines.

Queering didn't make the world work

 

[FLAM]

"Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe is a 1990 science-fiction/action film written and directed by Damian Lee and starring Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Sven-Ole Thorsen, with a cameo by James Belushi. It has become somewhat of a cult movie due to its outlandish plot and other B-movie characteristics."

I wish I still owned this.

 

[alkeiper]

Have we mentioned Tor Johnson yet?

 

[CBright7831]

Poor Temuera Morrison; A great actor being reduced to starring in films like Barb Wire, Speed 2, and The Marine 2.

Get a better agent, Tem!

 

[atticus Chaos]

Poor Temuera Morrison; A great actor being reduced to starring in films like Barb Wire, Speed 2, and The Marine 2.

Get a better agent, Tem!

Patricia Clarkson has the bigger comedown: She's an Academy Award, Golden Globe, and SAG nominated actress, as well as a two time emmy award winner...and now she's reduced to starring in a straight to dvd WWE movie with John Cena.

This is going to be the biggest gap in acting talent seen on-screen since Al Pacino showed up in Gigli to yell at Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

 

[atticus Chaos]

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

From dvdvr: Hogan fakes it for Thunder in Paradise.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

That scene was quite confusing and downright traumatizing to a prepubescent Kamala. I also bet bottom to dollar that Brody's whacked it to that scene at least once.

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

I remember getting quite excited when a friend told me Jeff Jarrett and Jerry Lawler had a scene in "Life With Mikey". I made sure to tune in the next time it aired on The Movie Network and bam, there they were. One of them wore a mask but it wasn't hard to figure it out.

 

[dx1997]

I guess this might be the best place to ask, but what is the consensus "best" WWE films move produced? Yes, I know to some, that's an oxymoron, but I'm curious what everyone thinks.

 

[Jingus]

The Condemned is pretty much the only option here. It was mediocre, but it didn't actually make you angry that you'd just wasted your money on this pile of shit. Which is how I felt about See No Evil, The Marine, and the bits I saw of Behind Enemy Lines: Columbia. I'm told that 12 Rounds was tolerable, but I never saw it.

 

[atticus Chaos]

I'd say it's between The Condemned and 12 rounds. 12 rounds has the best RT score (a whopping 28% compared to The Condemned's 16%.)

I'd give 12 rounds the edge, because it did have a moderately interesting premise and everything in it (the acting, the stunts, the directing) was to a perfectly acceptable standard (even Cena's on-screen blandness was utilised effectively, since he was playing a regular guy), whereas The Condemned had a few glaring flaws (notably a confusing message about how it's wrong to want to watch and glorify violence...while in a violent movie that itself glorifies violence). Austin probably gives the best WWE wrestler performance to date in The Condemned, though. He's actually a shockingly decent actor.

For what it's worth, The Condemned was the only WWE movie the company had enough confidence in to pre-screen it for critics, which tells you what they thought the best movie was.

 

[Cackling Co Pilot Kamala]

I've mentioned this before on several iterations of the board but the audience for The Condemned was the weirdest movie theater audience I've been in. It was me, my buddy, and four or five middle aged dudes all sitting by themselves scattered throughout the theater. It felt a lot like what I imagine a porno theater audience would be like except instead of watching chicks getting railed, we were watching Stone Cold bash dudes skulls in. Both equally exploitative I guess in entirely different ways.

 

[atticus Chaos]

Steve Austin's next movie, called “Hunt to Kill,” is shooting in Vancouver. Austin plays the role of a border guard who is taken hostage along with his teenage daughter, and then the daughter is stolen by a rival gang so Austin has to work with his abductors against the rival gang to get his daughter back. Paul Lazenby, a pro wrestler/MMA fighter/commentator who now works as a stunt man in Vancouver movies, is Austin’s stunt man.

wrestling observer newsletter

This sounds like every Steven Seagal movie ever made.

 

[Sabre]

Steve Austins pretty good in "Damage". It was a straight to DVD release here in November, its going Theatrical in the states. Check it out.

 

[wnyxmcneal]

Poor Temuera Morrison; A great actor being reduced to starring in films like Barb Wire, Speed 2, and The Marine 2.

Get a better agent, Tem!

Patricia Clarkson has the bigger comedown: She's an Academy Award, Golden Globe, and SAG nominated actress, as well as a two time emmy award winner...and now she's reduced to starring in a straight to dvd WWE movie with John Cena.

This is going to be the biggest gap in acting talent seen on-screen since Al Pacino showed up in Gigli to yell at Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

She's not "reduced" to that. She's in the movie with Martin Scorcese.

The movie was filmed in New Orleans, where she lives, and I imagine it was a pretty easy short shooting schedule.

Why wouldn't she take the role?

 

[atticus Chaos]

Why wouldn't she take the role?

WWE films are seen as a huge joke in the movie industry (lower than Uwe Boll and probably only a step up from Tommy Wiseau films.) Why do think they can only get B- movies actors and lesser known actors to appear in their films? And I really doubt Aiden Gillen is going to put "12 Rounds" above "The Wire" on his CV.


Although, considering she lives in New Orleans, it probably is to help the city's economy (and there's been a huge push by people there to get more movies filmed in New Orleans) rather than needing acting gigs. But I seriously doubt it's something she's going to advertise in the future.