Wrestlers and their movies

[DrVenkman PhD]

All because they sneezed in front of him.

 

[Byron The Bulb]

Ransom starring Vince McMahon would go like this: someone is kidnapped, Vince walks into the room with the kidnappers, we hear a struggle from outside, and Vince walks out and says "It's okay. The kidnappers are DEAD."

But what if one of the kidnappers is Bret Hart....and he has a steel chair?!

 

[Mattdotcom]

Save it for the sequel~!

 

[Jingus]

Holy fuck.

Dave Foley, Robert Maillet, wrestling vets Jimmy Hart and Kevin Nash, MMA ref Herb Dean and Lance Henriksen are participating in this horror-comedy shooting up in Ontario for Foresight Features.

The film depicts an action-packed fighting tournament set in an abandoned graveyard transformed into a brawling venue. Brawl promises to feature a roster of classic monsters, battling to the death in an explosive Pay-Per-View television broadcast format.

This could be the greatest and/or shittiest movie ever.

 

[wnyxmcneal]

When did Dave Foley forget how to say no

 

[bps21]

When people only ask him to work once a year

 

[ChrisMWaters]

So with Cena being off live events for October and November, is it safe to assume he won't be winning the WWE title anytime soon?

 

[wnyxmcneal]

This is the movies folder, ChrisMWaters.

I'm curious to see if WWE's release the movie on DVD a few weeks later approach works. I really don't see the logic in it, unless it was just to get everyone to sign onto the project

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

I'm watching The Longest Yard right now. Best wrestler movie ever, plus it introduced me to Terry Cheeseburger Crews. Austin plays a much better heel in movies too.

 

[Dandy]

How can it be the best wrestler movie? There wasn't even a kidnapping.

 

[Jingus]

The irony being that The Princess Bride fits in that group too. "They have a hostage... it's my childhood sweetheart whom I haven't seen in five years since I was kidnapped by pirates!"

 

[atticus Chaos]

Cena will play one of three brothers, who all have different fathers, and all hate each other. However, one of the fathers was rich. They are brought back together to find out, when he passed away, how much they would get in the estate. But their father in his will said the only way they can get any money from the estate, is to start a business with the three as co-owners, working together. They end up going into a business trying to catch bail jumpers.

I'm beginning to wonder if WWE movies are written by the family guy manatees.

And, per the observer, knucklehead did atrociously.

The movie “Knucklehead,” did virtually no business in its one weekend out. It was only scheduled for a weekend, only played in six theaters, and in a listing of the top movies, which the bottom movie grossed $75, it did not even make the listings. Now, it did more than $75, but still must not have done enough to register even a blip as no source anywhere listed a gross for it and places that have histories of all theatrically released movies and how much business they did, updated including the weekend, don’t even have this movie even existing.

 

[RedJed]

Pulling this up since I was flipping through the movie channels tonight and just came upon Christian's flick from a few years back, Dark Rising, on Showtime Beyond. For anyone who catches this post quick after I ummm, post, its on til the top of the hour.

He seems to have a very decent comedic role, playing a director of 900 sex line commercials. The rest of the cast is horrible, and since I missed the first 15 or so minutes, I have almost no idea what the hell is even going on in this one other than a bunch of them went camping and ran into a large undead monkey skeleton monster who kills one of them, they apparently resurrected it via witchcraft unintentionally. A whole other storyline is about some warrior princess of some sort trapped somewhere and cant remember something to set her free. This flick goes from campy horror at times to dead serious drama to not so wacky straight comedy out of nowhere too. Its like every scene is a new genre. This shit makes no sense whatsoever in its execution.

Much better than crap like End Game and whatnot, more better slickly edited and with a higher budget, but my no means is this one a hidden gem of greatness. More a hidden gem of stuff not really even worth seeing in the first place.

 

[Baby Shoes]

Pulling this up since I was flipping through the movie channels tonight and just came upon Christian's flick from a few years back, Dark Rising, on Showtime Beyond. For anyone who catches this post quick after I ummm, post, its on til the top of the hour.

He seems to have a very decent comedic role, playing a director of 900 sex line commercials. The rest of the cast is horrible, and since I missed the first 15 or so minutes, I have almost no idea what the hell is even going on in this one other than a bunch of them went camping and ran into a large undead monkey skeleton monster who kills them, they apparently resurrected it via witchcraft. This flick goes from campy horror at times to dead serious drama to not so wacky straight comedy out of nowhere too.

Much better than crap like End Game and whatnot, more better slickly edited and with a higher budget, but my no means is this one a hidden gem of greatness. More a hidden gem of stuff not really even worth seeing in the first place.

You didn't really miss anything important, that is essentially what it is. I think the first 15 minutes had the origin of the female and the monster, but nothing deep or important. Christian was far and away the best part of the movie and blew all the people who act as their primary profession out of the water in it. I caught it on Netflix streaming maybe a year or so ago.

I think it has been mentioned other places but Legendary and Knucklehead are available on Netflix streaming now.

Also, for those who were wondering on Shad Gaspard, apparently he was in the batch of WWE releases in November because he asked for his release to try to become an actor. There was actually a release that came out recently of some straight to video sounding movie he is going to be the lead in and shooting shortly.

 

[Gary]

I am legit disappointed that this thread wasn't updated with news of "River of Darkness" finding distribution. Come on, someone's gotta release it (preferably Lionsgate.)

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

I still want to watch End Game on Netflix (Canada, of course) some day.

RedJed: Bridgette Kingsley is awesome.

 

[RedJed]

Still nothin yet that I have seen/heard on that one unfortunately. Just checked Netflix and nothing either.

I take it back on this Dark Rising, it started not taking itself so seriously about halfway through and that was for the better. Some grade Z cheesiness in that second half though. Fuckin thing still makes no sense now that it's over, but at least it kept me car crash style interested at how off the wall this can get just about when it was starting to lose me completely.

I'd say its worth seeing one time and left at that.

 

[Gary]

Considering it's genre, any news of distribution will come from a horror news site.

I really hope that "Wrong Side of Town" becomes of cult classic for those that love really bad action movies.

 

[Baby Shoes]

I really hope that "Wrong Side of Town" becomes of cult classic for those that love shooting Ja Rule in the face.

 

[Jingus]

I have a raging hate-boner for the director of Wrong Side of Town like no other. That motherless fuck made a movie called Chaos, which I'd submit is possibly the single worst movie of the decade. And not "worst of the decade" like an Uwe Boll kind of bad, no it's an incompetently produced rape-torture-snuff flick which is a scene-for-scene ripoff of Last House on the Left with extra misogyny and racism and nihilism thrown in for good measure. It left me wanting to hit the filmmaker, David DeFalco... which would be unwise, since apparently he's an indy wrestler and a huge steroid machine. But anyway, I'm having a hard time even trying to imagine that this guy could produce something worth watching, even worth watching because of how funnybad it is. Should I still bother with WSoT?

 

[Gary]

I have a raging hate-boner for the director of Wrong Side of Town like no other. That motherless fuck made a movie called Chaos, which I'd submit is possibly the single worst movie of the decade. And not "worst of the decade" like an Uwe Boll kind of bad, no it's an incompetently produced rape-torture-snuff flick which is a scene-for-scene ripoff of Last House on the Left with extra misogyny and racism and nihilism thrown in for good measure. It left me wanting to hit the filmmaker, David DeFalco... which would be unwise, since apparently he's an indy wrestler and a huge steroid machine. But anyway, I'm having a hard time even trying to imagine that this guy could produce something worth watching, even worth watching because of how funnybad it is. Should I still bother with WSoT?

If the post above you doesn't convince you otherwise, then I can't help you.

That out of the way, yeah, I feel the same way about "Chaos." Fortunately, WSoT is hilariously bad.

 

[RedJed]

I found Wrong Side of Town somewhere a few months ago on Bluray for only $5, well worth it.

 

[atticus Chaos]

Wrong Side of Town is a classic of bad cinema, up there with The Room or Troll 2.

RVD gives one of the worst acting performances of all time. Although still not as bad as a the promo on impact where he swore vengeance on Abyss.
An awesomely cheap Bond-rip off opening, which just consists of the line "Wrong side of town" being sung over and over again.
RVD's character has a daughter who looks about 25, made worse by the fact Rob looks younger than he, like early to mid-thirties. Their interaction, like when he tries to give her in trouble or ground her, is hilarious. Conversely, his onscreen wife looks about 15 years older than he is.
A supposedly evil, highly feared criminal mastermind, named...Seth. And the guy isn't remotely scary.
Ja Rule shows up, just to get shot in the head.
There's also a feared ninja guy who randomly pops up.
Batista's character....essentially he just shows up and beats up people and then wanders off, occasionally sitting next to topless women.

 

[DrVenkman PhD]

I received Santa With Muscles as a gag gift from a friend yesterday. I laughed quite loudly when I opened the wrapping.

 

[Gary]

Spoiler

Batista's character....essentially he just shows up and beats up people and then wanders off, occasionally sitting next to topless women.

By topless women, you mean Stormy Daniels.

 

[Mattdotcom]

Spoiler

Batista's character....essentially he just shows up and beats up people and then wanders off, occasionally sitting next to topless women.

It's the role he was born to play!

 

[atticus Chaos]

He is the best actor in this movie....so, yes.

 

[Gary]

While it's well known that Triple H's movie is going to be "The Chaperon", I have to ask: Were he and Undertaker supposed to be in a shitty western together or something?

 

[atticus Chaos]

River Of Darkness - Trailer

How is this not going to be awesome?

 

[Gary]

Posted already. Also, what's keeping this movie from coming out?